Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist ladyruikaiFemale/Philippines Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 109 Deviations 167 Comments 5,410 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Literature
Stalling
He wants to catch her eye
     even just for a little while
She's been looking for his eyes
     to gaze at them one more time
He hopes to hold her hand
      comfortably not letting go
She had held his hand
      for a fleeting moment, once
He loves her too much
     to just give up
She loves him enough
     to move on...
          to see him happy
               with her...
She is not her
     by heart, she knew
She will never be
ever.
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 1 1
Literature
Drunken
I read your reply for over five times.
You said sorry thrice.
It's enough for the wise.
Don't worry, I expected this already...
my lowly demise.
I just can't "can't entertain it".
It's a little too late for that, don't you think?
Never asked you to "mirror the same".
Just wanna let you know,
it's my heart I can no longer tame.
Please don't try to comfort me with shit
I know you will and I'm running out of wit
"I've crossed a line that I know not fit"
God knows how hard I tried,
It's "messed up", can't relax and sit
Enough with sorries,
No need for sugar-coated cherries
It was tough, at cliff's edge of falling
My mind agreed, this one is true
I will close my eyes now, and just let go
I will not leave it unsaid
Something might happen, time may unled
You held me back, thank you
But no use now, it's a 
                             deep 
           
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 12 8
A Haiku: Lie by ladyruikai A Haiku: Lie :iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 4 1 Genuinely Awkward by ladyruikai Genuinely Awkward :iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 1 1
Literature
Spontaneous
So, I let my guard down
Walls reduced to rubble
No whys - I have fallen
I accept my defeat
I accept the fact 
I am not made of rock
It is funny
and it is just sad
How one single person can do
Make you feel ecstatic
and after an instant, erratic
without meaning to
without even knowing...
Spontaneously -- feelings become words, words become lines, lines become a meaningfully senseless set. Exhausting plot. 'I just want you to be happy' level of mediocrity.
It has been more or less twelve months since the battle dawned -- with confusion, with doubt, with denial, with WTH-this-is. Here are the sets of words I've extracted from the all-too-familiar-yet-unexplained-BLAH.
   
  
  
 Uncharted, Unfinished by ladyruikai Unconcluded by ladyruikai
Chagrin by ladyruikai Would it make a difference? by ladyruikai Almost Concluded by ladyruikai
:th
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 6 1
Literature
Presque Vu
I dreamt about him last night
I don't remember exactly
       but that whole time
           I knew
               He was mine
I wrote him in my lines
I remember every rhyme
       but that whole time
           I knew
               He was never meant as mine
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 12 5
Literature
Most likely, Definitely
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
think of you everyday
and that's most likely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
miss you more than ever
and that's most likely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
eager to see your smile
and that's most likely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
badly want to hear your voice
and that's most likely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
like you a lot more than I had originally planned
and that's most likely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
playing it cool as if not bothered at all
while you don't care even just a little
Definitely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
stammer, wobble on my words
while you're good at keeping a straight answer
Definitely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite possibly
feel a bit jealous
while you're saying how you feel for someone
Definitely
one-sided.
I kinda,
sorta,
maybe,
quite poss
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 10 6
Literature
May I be?
Your reason to smile
Someone you'll walk a mile
The hand you like to hold
The warm hug when you're cold
Your wondrous drug that makes all fine
Someone you'll write tons of line
The strength when you feel weak
The soothing care when you're sick
Your happy thoughts all day
Someone who takes your breath away
The sleeping pill you need to snooze
The good 'ole groggy feeling even with no booze
Your "Let's get fat together"
Someone who inspire you to be better
The boost when you're down
The silly comedienne so you won't frown
Your sunshine after a hard rain
Someone who'll wipe out the pain
The courage to face your fears
The hanky to dry your tears
Your all this and more
Someone, the only one you adore
The scent you'll miss
The lips you'll ever kiss
May I also be
what you are to me?

Because,
You are..
My reason to smile
Someone I'll walk a mile
The hand I like to hold
The warm hug when I'm cold
My wondrous drug that makes all fine
Someone I write tons of line
The strength when I feel w
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 28 13
Literature
Silver Lined
Standing
on irregular pieces
of broken glass
Waiting
for deafening dullness
to slowly pass
Looking
through blurred reflection
of unpainted stains
Searching
for scattered perfection
which wreckedly remains
Reminiscing
every deep sillage
of damning illusion
Tiptoeing
on each sharp edge
with meticulous caution
Recalling
the numbing ache,
agonizingly tolerated
Running
away from the cold, dark wake
with blind gaze shifted
Ignoring
the cynical view
without further debate
Recognizing
the best-laid cue,
never too late
Dodging
a worthy fight
which cripples
Yielding
to what is right,
not impulse
Holding
on with firm grip
to silverlined hope
Believing
that fate will flip
the heavy, cruel rope
Letting
go of the decision
to ever lose
Knowing
time is a definite option
one can safely choose
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 10 5
Literature
That vague time.
That one time
when you held my hand
That one time
when you whispered "I can't"
That one time
when I tried not to understand
That one time
when you leaned over and...
It happened,
we crossed the line.
That one time
a vague moment of almost bliss
That one time
a subtle expression that I may miss
That one time
a head-on collision of mind & heart
That one time
a part of you I carry now that we're apart
It happened,
we've just crossed the line.
That one time
has effortlessly budged reason
That one time
has totally misplaced my hesitation
That one time
has been etched in my memory
That one time
has not been outlined sharply
It happened,
we have crossed the line.
That one time
when I held your hand
That one time
when I understood your "I can't"
That one time
when I felt your heart hastily beat
That one time
when you leaned over and...
It happened.
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 9 4
Literature
Almost Concluded
All over again
Back to square one
Been here before
Not getting any easier
Need to clear my head
Close my eyes
Shed a tear
Things are fussier
Afraid I've fallen deep
Unexpectantly
Should I let go now?
Or hold on tighter?
It is what it is
Attraction, a shouldn't be
An unconcluded
Bittersweet nothing
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 4 3
Literature
Would it make a difference?
Would it make a difference if
he knew how badly I want to be there for him?
Would it make a difference if
I want to be there every time he falls apart?
Would it make a difference if
I  want to hold his hand and tell him that it's gonna be alright?
Would it make a difference if
I want to be the friend that he needs?
I guess it would...
maybe, just maybe.
Or it may be
I'm just way over my head.
For these things I'm saying
could not even tip off a weightless thread.
These are just my wants and not what he needs.
Would it make a difference?
No, it won't.
Will it matter?
Maybe, just maybe.
Would it make a difference if
I am there with him?
Would it make a difference if
I am there when he falls apart?
Would it make a difference if
I am holding his hand and comforting him?
Would it make a difference if...
It may slightly differ
but it couldn't move mountains.
Time will fly.
Things will change.
Maybe soon it will matter.
Maybe soon it will make a difference.
I think, it will when I stop
a
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 7 0
Literature
Chagrin
Rustling
seems to come from no where
then it shatters
as if never been broken before
Cracks
seem to come from no where
then it scatters
irregular web of trembling nerves
Denial
seems to come too easy
then it squanders
almost all the hope left
Blame
seems to come too easy
then it quivers
restraints are loosened
Chagrin
seems to come with no fret
then it banters
dubious shallow punctures
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 0 3
Literature
Good evening, Good night
The night sky is clear
stars shine, thoughts remain hidden
The moon keeps smiling
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 13 2
Literature
Trough
Just go with the flow
struggling against the current
will drown and kill you.
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 6 3
Literature
Antithesis
It is what it is
a contrast of everything
when all is the same
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai
:iconladyruikai:ladyruikai 9 0

Activity


deviantID

ladyruikai's Profile Picture
ladyruikai

Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Philippines
cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. thinker. choleric. curious about life.
believes in conviction. sucker for romance.

kaleidoscopicpsyche.blogspot.com
facebook.com/kaleidoscopicpsyche
Interests
It is like I am cracking slowly
from edge to center...
before breaking into
tiny bits of glass that subtly cuts
through and through...
Sparing nothing.

Did I push too soon?
You pulled away too promptly.
Am I too much? Is it too much too soon?

I can't -- will not regret what happened.
I just find things difficult to understand.
I might ponder on why I let myself give in a little, though.
It is not regret. It is just me feeling inadequate.
I cannot make you feel something you don't... probably won't.

I am sorry if I made you doubt what you stand for.
I am sorry if I pushed.
I am sorry if I seem stupid (maybe I am).
But I am not sorry I lived a little out of ordinary in that moment with you.

You are not ready...
which makes the two of us.
I went with the flow and
got caught up in an unfriendly tide.


embedded_item1451845918273 by ladyruikai

Journal History

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconhugqueen:
HugQueen Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014   Writer
:iconburdenedhearts:

Welcome to BurdenedHearts, we are delighted to have you as part of the group.

We hope you enjoy your time in the group and have a chance to interact with other members by posting in response to our journals, we've found this is the best way that members meet each other and find new friends who can help them through tough times.

If you are in need of some support you can always ask for your name to be added to the Well Wishes Log or participate in our Agony Aunt Column.

You can add any deviations that are based on an emotional theme to our gallery, but please put it in the right area.

If you have any questions feel free to let us know, we'd love to help you settle in.

Thanks!

- IrrevocableFate
BurdenedHearts Admin
Reply
:icongentlepeace:
GentlePeace Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for the favorite!
Please, come again later!
:iconadoration-plz:

And I agree with that webcam.
Reply
:icon666darks:
666Darks Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama, returned the favor :D
Reply
:iconshinigami-nataku:
shinigami-nataku Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Professional Writer
Hello.  Sorry to bother you but I am trying to create a new group dedicated to Original Literature and wondered if you would be interested in joining?

:iconoriginal-lit:

I know that we are a bit short of members right now, but I am hoping that people will soon join and the fun and games can begin!  You are also more than welcome to submit your written work to our gallery.

I hope that you will consider joining us soon.  If not, I apologise for taking up your wall space
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icongonad-the-destroyer:
Gonad-The-Destroyer Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you Hug 
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: